Not ready to quit? Read this...

Feeling curious about sobriety but not ready to make it a part of life? Trust me, I understand. Getting sober is an enormous life change, and I lost count of how many "last drinks" I had before I truly got sober. That is why I wanted to write an article based on things I've said during my sober-curious stage, and "reasons" why I thought I couldn't and shouldn't get sober. Maybe you've heard yourself say these too? I hope you feel heard, seen, and understood.

"I've been drinking/using for so long, why stop now?"

I have heard this many times, and it's not always about getting sober. I especially hear this when it comes to feelings of making other significant life changes such as career, moving, and education.

"I've been in this industry for so long, it's too late to make a change"

"I'm too old to go back to school"

"I've lived here my whole life, I might as well stay"

Making a change, no matter how big or small, takes a shift in mindset. When our brain is conditioned to hearing the same thing for a long time, it believes it to be true, even if it's far from the truth. Usually, when we hear of someone getting sober after 25 years of heavy drinking or getting their degree at the age of 60 we often think of them as rare success stories or "miracles". Changing your mindset about social and cultural norms takes work. It also takes a courage to stand up for yourself no matter what the situation may be, and ignoring the naysayers.

"Life would be boring"

This is a very common lie that society holds on to, and it used to be my truth as well. I was so afraid for so long that I would miss the "feeling" that alcohol gave me or things wouldn't be "as fun". Again, reflection, reflection, reflection...

I deeply reflected on those fears, and came to find that "the feeling" I was afraid of losing was numbness, not euphoria. After I drank myself into oblivion, emotions such as anger, sadness, and self-loathing would emerge and many times I would not remember any of it. The "fun feeling" I so often craved was actually an imposter disguising itself as feelings of relaxation, enjoyment, and confidence. It's fun until it's not.

"I'm more confident and social while I'm drunk/high"

Ahhhhh, the ole' "social lubricant" fallacy...

This one is especially difficult for those who struggle with social anxiety or are simply introverted. I will never forget when my mom told me "you are depriving the world of yourself". You are enough the way that you are, and so much better than the numbed version of you.

"I'm not like Uncle Jim...I'm functional!"

Putting yourself into a category or claiming you don't have a problem because you're "not as bad as Uncle Jim" is counterproductive in justifying a habit. Addiction manifests itself in different ways, and no two people are the same. I remember using my young age as an excuse to binge drink even though it consumed every aspect of my life. There's danger in comparisons and labels.

Remember, no matter what stage of sobriety you're finding yourself in right now, you are not alone. Want to start small? Read this article from Soberish to prepare yourself for what the first few weeks of life would be like sober.

The mountain looks huge from down here, but the view is worth it.